Dresden Files Reread - Fool Moon Chapter 27

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 Hey look everyone, it's the only good Susan chapter, the only real strength upon which the validity, much less shippability, of their relationship rests. 

So Harry follows Susan to one of the guest rooms, where she's just kind of hanging out, as off-screen characters are wont to do, wearing on of Harry's T-shirts. She looks upset but determined, and Harry reflects on their soul gaze, over a year ago now, how she fainted, and he has no idea what she saw, but instead of going on to consider how she doesn't know how attractive she really is, or anything equally icky, he thinks about her drive, her skill and passion for getting at the truth. He knows it's personal for her, but he doesn't know why, and I don't think we're ever actually told. 

Still trying not to cry, she asks him not to go. Harry tells her that after fucking over MacFinn and Marcone, Denton would just go after him, and maybe Susan as well. She says "we could go somewhere", and they both have some feelings about it, because it's the first time either of them has really talked about their relationship in those kind of terms, and Harry hasn't thought about himself and anyone else as a "we" since Elaine. Harry doesn't quite manage verbal acknowledgement of the moment, but they kiss, "as restrained and desperate as the near-still surface of a rushing river", which is one of the most poetic descriptions in the series. Honestly, we talk about the sex scenes in Death Masks and Peace Talks, and this one does not get enough credit, likely because the writing in the early books is generally not great, and Susan is almost always terrible. They don't have sex right away, though. Susan stops things short of that, carefully undressed Harry, and starts to wash him and change his bandages. It's honestly really sweet. Only after, when he's clean and his wounds have been treated, and he's had a chance to recover from the discomfort, that they have sex, quiet and gentle even though they're both all up in their feelings. 

They have a little bit of a conversation after, in which Susan says that she isn't sure she wants to fall in love with him. She doesn't say why, but I get the sense that she's thinking about the danger he's almost always in, the constant risk that he'll die. Like Harry, Susan lost her parents pretty young, although I don't think that's established until Changes. There's no indication that she's close to anyone except maybe her coworkers...and Harry. This relationship, cavalierly as she often treats it, is a big deal for her. Losing him would be an even bigger deal. She says that falling in love with him feels right, and "You see so much pain. I just wanted to remind you that there's something else in the world." That's the breaking point for Harry; he starts crying, and she holds him. 

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If Susan were like this the whole time - present, reasonable, affectionate, and authentic - I might actually ship her with Harry. 

They might have stayed like that all night, but the moon's rising. When Susan swung by Harry's house to get one of his shirt to wear, she also grabbed a full changes of clothes for him, underwear included. She dresses him, and Harry thinks this is pretty hot, but but in a way that makes him feel alert and focused, not distracted. When she's just about done, Tera sticks her head in the door to tell them it's time to leave, but Susan has one last favor for Harry. This is where she gives him the leather duster, the one he wears from here all the way through the end of Changes. He notes that it feels exactly right, but doesn't realize until he sees his reflection in the mirror that this is Inner Harry's coat, and they now look almost exactly alike, except that his darker self has tidier facial hair. 

While Harry arms us with his pentacle amulet and Harris's pistol, Susan is putting her own clothes back on. She's going with them, if for no other reason than to drive the van. Harry has a normal amount of reservations about this - she's a noncombatant and he wants her safe - but agrees that she can come, under the same "follow orders, if I say run, you run" conditions as the Alphas. Susan, in turn, is remarkably cool about this, and accepts those terms. On the way out the door, she asks Harry if he's ever thought about growing a beard.