Dresden Files Reread - Grave Peril Chapter 31

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I am fascinated by the way this book is playing with addiction. There's no central throughline, at least not that I've been able to identify so far, but almost this collage of ideas and images about it, putting all these pieces out to see what they look like together. Harry's asleep for a long time. It's pain that wakes him up, the burns at first, then the cuts, the scrapes and bruises. As soon as he's conscious, he remembers what happened the night before, what he did, and realizes, as he wasn't in any state to do at the time, that he almost certainly killed some of the human teenagers the vampires were feeding upon in his conflagration. He drags himself out of bed, narrowly makes it to the bathroom in time to vomit, and starts guilt spiraling. By the time Michael comes in, he's progressed from crying on the bathroom floor to crying in the shower. I can't speak for anyone else who's had substance use issues, but I know I felt personally attacked by this scene. As I said, this moment doesn't feel directly connected to Justine's connection with Thomas, or Harry's reaction to vampire venom, or Lydia's present dependence on amphetamines to protect herself from the Nightmare, or Bianca's inability to accept responsibility for Paula's death (caused by desperate need, by a loss of control, by Paula's own addiction to the venom), or Mort's alcoholism, or the introduction of the only smoker in the series whose habit is not meant to code him as morally dissolute, but it sure is in the same book as all of them. He reflects on how you can't do anything with magic that you don't basically believe in, that you don't believe on some level is a good and okay thing to do - I feel like this came up in one of the first two books, but it might not have, and it's certainly the first time it's been mentioned in this one. I'm not actually sure it applies the way he's applying it here; you can't do anything with magic that you don't believe in, sure, but he straight up forgot those kids were there, and while that's, y'know, horrible (although see previous posts re: drugged, concussed, exhausted), I don't think magic's inability to do something you don't believe is right prevents unintended consequences that you wouldn't have wanted.

Michael physically picks Harry up, dries him off, and puts a bathrobe on him. He called the fire department after extracting Harry and Lydia, and they pulled out eleven bodies, at least some of them nonhuman, and twelve living humans. The rest are unaccounted for, and at least some of them may have been cremated by the heat of the fire, a prospect which Harry finds appropriately disturbing. He's talking somewhat incoherently about how he was so stupid, it wasn't worth it... Michael tries to reassure him by pointing out that they killed a lot of vampires too, but that doesn't do anything to break the cycle of self-recrimination. When Harry finally pulls himself together a little, Michael starts filling him in. He was asleep for over a day, but Michael didn't want to take him to a hospital when the vampires are almost certainly looking for him. Murphy is in the hospital now - she's still asleep, and the police have been pulled off the investigation entirely. Susan, Justine, and Amoracchius all remain unaccounted for. Charity's recovering, but the new baby is getting weaker and the doctors can't figure out what's wrong. Michael called, but hasn't been to see them - he's been staying with Harry and Lydia to make sure they're safe. 

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Lydia's on the couch, asleep. Apparently Michael only got her settled down about half an hour ago, which has the fascinating implication that, since he's been here since he brought Harry back, and that was over a day ago, he's just been kind of...hanging out with Lydia for the past almost 24 hours? Was it awkward? Did they talk at all? If so, about what? Honestly I feel like there's a short story to be written here, or at least a fanfic. Michael also finally reveals to the reader where he and Harry know her from, that she was one of the kids hanging around with Kravos. Harry, who has now progressed to the 'unsteadily getting a glass of water' stage, says there will be consequences for what he did. Michael asks whether he's talking about the Rule of Three, which Harry has previously expressed he doesn't believe in that. Harry says he doesn't, that it's too tidy, too much like the world being fair and just, but tha there are consequences for what you do with magic. He quotes Proverbs here, which surprises Michael a little. I still don't think I can make sense of what parts of the Bible Harry does and doesn't know. He knows Proverbs, and the Psalms (Old Testament), but not Noah's Arc (also Old Testament), or the Parable of the Talents, which is in the New Testament (Matthew 25:14-30 and Luke 19:11-37). We don't know one way or another if he understood the John 3:16 reference from a few chapters ago. As an aside, Harry initially goes for a can of coke, then puts it back in favor of the water, unsure whether his stomach is up to the soda. This is mildly interesting, inasmuch as coke is conventionally held to be good for an upset stomach. 

Michael says he has to go, that his family needs him, now that Harry's awake and presumably able to look after himself and Lydia. He feels bad about it, despite Harry's efforts to assure Michael that it's okay, that looking after his family is the right and reasonable thing to do. Part of it is, Michael isn't sure he'd be making the same choice if he hadn't lost the Sword, isn't sure what he'd want to do, isn't sure what he should want to do. Normal human instinct is gonna point him towards being with his family, trying to look after them, even though there isn't much concrete action he can take to help with the recovery from a difficult labor, or a medically unexplained failure to thrive. If nothing else, he can provide care and reassurance for his six other kids rather than leaving them with Father Forthill or their grandparents. His duty as a Knight says he should be here, with Harry, protecting Lydia, gearing up for the next round in the struggle against things that go bump in the night. He might feel less reflexively drawn to that, just at present, but in addition to its being a holy calling, he likes the work. The previous chapter was at some pains to emphasize that. He thinks losing the Sword might have been a sign that he's meant to give up being a Knight, and he both wants that to be the case and doesn't, so he's getting a double dose of guilt, because wishing to be released from a holy calling feels unworthy, weak, but what kind of person doesn't want a change of circumstances that will let them spend more time with, be better positioned to take care of, the people they love? Harry loses the thread of what Michael's saying because something occurs to him, or tries to. All he can articulate is that something about the situation feels off. Michael isn't sure what he means.

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Before Michael can leave, there's a knock and the door, forceful and uncoordinated. On the very reasonable assumption that this is the attack by the Red Court they've been expecting, Michael grabs a hot poker and takes up position near the fireplace, and Harry pulls the door open without actually putting himself in front of it, causing their visitor to stumble into the room. It's Thomas, dressed in street clothes and carrying a plastic rifle case. Harry smacks him around a little, and then Michael stands on him and puts the hot poker up close to his face. He's bleeding where Harry split his lip, giving us our first look at the pink, pearlescent blood of the White Court. Thomas wants them to listen to him, but only narrowly convinces them not to kill him on the spot, on the basis that they have a common interest. He claims that he was going to double cross Bianca as soon as he'd gotten Justine back and was out from under direct observation, only of course Bianca double crossed him first. More importantly, from the perspective of Our Heroes, Bianca still has both Susan and Justine. They're still alive the last time he checked, and he wants to work together to get them back, which is a nice, clean, self-interested motive we can all believe in. Michael says he can tell Thomas is a liar just by standing near him, which is honestly fascinating and not, so far as I can recall, ever followed up on. Thomas readily agrees, but swears by, among other things, his own "stunning good looks" that he's not lying in this instance. On the surface, this sounds kind of facetious and very, very Thomas, but let's remember that this is the book where the consequences, for a wizard, of swearing by their power and breaking their word were introduced. Thomas is a White Court Vampire. And we see, in Blood Rites, that he would not look like this without his vampiric nature. His stunning good looks are his power, part of it, and a crucial aspect of his ability to do things like feed upon humans. Swearing by that isn't a small thing, nor nearly as facetious as it sounds. Harry, however, doesn't consider any of this, and tells Michael to kill him. At which point Thomas straight up begs, offering to do or pay whatever's necessary to convince them. This gets Harry to take a proper look at Thomas, to finally notice that he's scared, exhausted, desperate. He tells Michael to let Thomas get up, and Thomas directs him to open the rifle case, saying it contains a "down payment" for their help. Harry does, exercising appropriate caution. Apparently, Thomas was able to retrieve Amoracchius. I feel like he could have lead with that? Michael legit cries a little, and, once he's made sure the Sword is undamaged, tells God, and then Harry, that he understands now that he isn't meant to retire yet, that there's still work to be done. 

Thomas gives them all the information he has. The manor house wasn't destroyed - most of it is still fine, after the fire. The unaccounted-for human kids are there, and Thomas thinks they're turning some of them into new vampires, to make up their losses. He saw Mavra leave with two of them - she's getting out of town. Susan and Justine are being kept somewhere in the house, but he doesn't know where. And Bianca has hired additional security: humans with machine guns. Since Thomas doesn't know the layout of the house, Harry plans to wake Lydia up and ask her if she knows anything about where Susan and Justine are, since she's been inside more of the house than they have, and may additionally have some insights to offer from her prophetic gifts. Michael says he doesn't think she's slept in days, which causes Harry to realize, about 15 seconds too late, what's suspicious about her presence and their escape. She's possessed by the Nightmare, and figuring that out does Harry absolutely no good as she physically picks him up and throws him at the fireplace. 

This will probably be the last Dresden Files post of the 2023-2024 Eeveeyear. In a few days, we'll talk about what I accomplished, and didn't this year, and what's coming in the next one. Until then, be gay, do crimes, and read All The Things!